Saint Andrew's Episcopal Church
Lake Worth, FL

Good Friday [2005]

Margot Emery

“Woman, Behold Thy Son ….”

Mary, the Mother of Jesus, has been upstaged recently in popular consciousness by the other Mary – Mary Magdalene. There is much to admire in Mary Magdalene, but Mary the mother of Jesus has been an icon of the “divine feminine” for centuries. Both of the Marys have been trivialized throughout the ages. Mary Magdalene was turned into a prostitute through the misunderstanding of Pope Gregory the Great. Jesus’ mother has been so overly spiritualized by the church hierarchy in past centuries that she’s been turned into an impossible ideal of purity and untouchability. But if we take another look at her, and peel away all those centuries of spiritualizing, we can get a glimpse of a real flesh and blood woman.

Can we imagine how that real flesh and blood Mary felt as she bore witness to the agonizing death of her son? Those of us who are parents know how much we love our children, so that gives us just a tiny inkling of what must have been in her heart. In preparing for this afternoon’s talk, I tried to imagine the scene on that Friday afternoon so long ago. In reading over the Gospel accounts of the Crucifixion, it’s easy to get the impression that the women followers were far more supportive of Jesus than the men in those last hours. If you read all the Gospel descriptions of the Crucifixion you’ll find the names of five women, including Mary Magdalene, a sixth woman identified as the sister of Mary Jesus’ mother, and a seventh woman whose name is inferred from previous verses. In addition, the gospels include a reference to “all the other women”. During the Crucifixion, Mary and the other women were standing right next to Jesus – whereas most of the male disciples, except for one – John – had run away. All the other men deserted him and fled. Now I ask you, is there any account in the Gospels of a women being an enemy to Jesus? Of a woman betraying him or denying him or mocking him? I can’t think of any…Mary and the other women followed Jesus to the cross, weeping for his pain and reaching out to sooth his wounds.

But maybe we shouldn’t judge the men too harshly. There have been some recent studies examining men’s and women’s different reactions to stress. Both genders react with an initial rush of adrenaline. But women experience a secondary response – a rush of the hormone oxytocin. This hormone works in women’s bodies to produce a calming sense of nurturing and motherly affection as a way to deal with stress. Scientists call it “tending and befriending” as opposed to the more familiar male response of “fight or flight”. Mary and the other women brought something very significant to Jesus’ death – their presence. Jesus did not have to die alone and abandoned.

And while I admire those strong women of Jerusalem, I won’t be too hard on the men. If I had been there, I’m not sure that I would have stayed by the cross during those hideous hours. I’ve never been subjected to that kind of stress – nothing even close! Would I have remained a steadfast, loyal follower to the very end? The answer is: I really don’t know. What’s more important for us, is whether we can be steadfast, loyal followers NOW. It’s not easy being a Christian. It’s not easy to live the life that Jesus called us to. It’s hard to love God when your life isn’t going well and bad things are happening to you. It’s hard to love your neighbors when you don’t like them very much, when they’re different from you, when they have different values and ideals. Maybe hardest of all is to really love yourself. That means taking care of yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually. It means trying to be the very best you can be. That is the life that Jesus calls us to, and that is what it takes to be a steadfast, loyal disciple.

The Gospel of John tells us, “When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved, he said to his Mother, “Woman, behold your son.” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold your mother.” So we have a picture of Jesus as a concerned son, even in the last moments before his death, ensuring that his mother would be cared for. But I believe that he goes beyond the concerned son. Jesus himself, during the years of his ministry, did not care for his mother as he appears to be commanding John to do. Rather, he left her in Nazareth while he traveled throughout Galilee and Judea preaching. He would later tell John and the disciples that they must go forth to all nations teaching and preaching. Certainly John took responsibility for Mary. But perhaps there was something else - perhaps at that moment Jesus was commissioning his mother to be a motherly figure for all Christians and by giving her to John, who represents all Christians, he asks us to look on her as our mother too. She is a great role model for her faithfulness and devotion to her son in those terrible hours.

Mary was probably the first Christian believer. She became a believer when she said “Yes” to the Angel Gabriel’s’ commission to become the mother of Jesus. I do not see her as a passive vessel – I see her as someone who knew that when she said “yes” to Gabriel that she would revolutionize the world. And if we really listen to the Song of Mary, the woman is practically gloating when she says “All generations will call me blessed”! That is the song of a real flesh and blood woman. And I want it to be my song too. What a radical she is! The Song of Mary speaks of a wonderful equality among people. Through Jesus, God is overturning things as they are. “He has put down the mighty from their thrones and exalted those of low degree…he has filled the hungry with good things and the rich sent empty away.” In the world of which Mary speaks, there is no Jew or Greek, no slave or free, no black or white, no straight or gay, no male or female. What a song! Did she sing Jesus to sleep with songs like that?

Mary stood through the terrible ordeal of the Crucifixion until the end. She was the only disciple who was there from the very beginning to the very end and even beyond to the upper room. But how remarkable that it was the other Mary who went to the tomb on Easter morning. Why not Jesus’ own mother? Wouldn’t she have been the appropriate one to go there? Was it because, having kept in her heart what Jesus was to be, Mary knew that his body wouldn’t be there?

This afternoon in my heart I embrace Mary and John and those strong women who stood by Jesus.  And I will try to imagine myself standing at the foot of the cross with Mary. Through her faithfulness, loyalty and devotion, she is an inspiration to all of us.

In the name of Jesus and in the name of Mary, God give us grace to be faithful, loyal, and devoted disciples of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Margot Emery provides a vital lay ministry at Saint Andrew’s as a liturgical leader, speaker, vestry member; her guidance in many other aspects of parish life is invaluable.

Ms. Emery has served as Managing Director of the Core Ensemble, a chamber music theatre group, for 8 years. During that time, local and regional touring of the ensemble’s chamber music and chamber music theatre pieces has expanded to include national and international work. The ensemble’s programs now reach every region of the U.S. and have been heard in Russia, Ukraine, the Caribbean and in Australia. Under Ms. Emery’s tenure, the Core Ensemble has performed in such prestigious venues as the Guggenheim Museum, Central Park SummerStage, the Chautauqua Institute, the Boston Center for the Arts and the Queensland Biennial Festival. Ms. Emery has been responsible for raising funds to commission 8 music theatre pieces, 12 chamber music works and 3 triple concertos. Past positions include Development Director for the USS Constitution Museum, Director of Development Services for the Palm Beach County Cultural Council and Palm Beach Development Manager for the Florida Philharmonic Orchestra. Ms. Emery holds diplomas from Laval University in Quebec City, Canada, and the Mozarteum in Salzburg, Austria.

Ms. Emery is the wife of Michael Parola, Percussionist and Artistic Director of the Core Ensemble, the mother of three adult daughters, Rose of Boston, Massachusetts, Sarah, of Pasadena, California, and Guylaine, of Montreal, Canada and the grandmother of Isabella, 4, of Pasadena and the newborn Jules of Montreal. She is Recording Secretary of the Board of Directors of the Eden Place Neighborhood Association.

The Core Ensemble website is www.core-ensemble.cc