SAINT ANDREW’S EPISCOPAL CHURCH
Lake Worth, Florida

Proper 22B, Eve of Pentecost XVIII (October 7, 2006)
Canon Richard T. Nolan

Christians who use biblical passages, such as the one just read (Mark 10:2-16), as containing absolutely binding rules for faithful behavior are creating a self-defeating and imprisoned life. And, yet, throughout the ages right through the present time, a shallow biblical literalism continues to promote unnecessary guilt, appalling self-esteem, rigid and unloving personalities, and burdensome relationships. It is no wonder that so many religious people look toward the afterlife; their beliefs are helping to make this life excruciatingly inhumane and miserable.

The Summary of the Law. A passage from Matthew to which I often refer gets to the heart of all Christian morality. Our liturgy tonight has already included it, and I wish it were part of every liturgy. Hear what our Lord Jesus Christ saith: Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it: Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets. (Matthew 22:37-40)

The Summary As the Moral Context. “On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.” In other words, according to Jesus’ own words, everything else related to human behavior, including other scriptural passages, are to be understood within the context of his “Summary of the Law.” Everything else depends upon this “Summary.” This is the one, the only one, moral absolute. His disciples, including ourselves, are liberated from the hundreds, even thousands, of moral prescriptions and religious regulations that are wrongly elevated as if they were ultimate commands. Whenever you come upon Jesus’ teachings about living in accord with God’s Will, immediately understand them within the framework of his “Summary.” (In the Episcopal Church’s official ethics website the “Summary” is the primary posting: http://www.teforall.org/resources_12_ethics.html.)

The Ideal Life in God’s Kingdom. Additionally, as we listen to Jesus, remember that in order to teach effectively, Jesus often used examples of how his disciples would conduct themselves in the perfected Kingdom of God. For example, in God’s Kingdom on earth, all marriages and other relationships would thrive; genuine love among human beings would be dependable, and no one would try to pull them apart. In Christ’s ideal world, by their baptism, his followers would know fully with heart and mind that they are unique children of God called to love and be loved, and to love themselves as well; authentic and profound self-esteem would be a given for everyone. The wonderful, trusting innocence and natural affection exemplified in children would be a quality in all relationships.

Exaggeration and Timeliness In Jesus’ Words. Furthermore, in order to grasp what Jesus meant in various passages, we need to recognize that he was a master of exaggeration for the purpose of jolting his hearers from their complacency. Remember from a recent reading: “And if your eye causes you to stumble, tear it out …” (from Mark ch. 9) Heaven help the literalist who fails to grasp our Lord’s teaching techniques and carries this through literally! As well, we must understand that Christ’s ethical teachings were addressed to specific people and situations two thousand years ago. His words and examples may occasionally be far removed from our times. To understand Jesus’ moral teachings for our lives in the 21st century, all of his statements deserve our most careful, detailed study – not just a quick, literal reading.

JESUS TEACHINGS ON HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS, INCLUDING MARRIAGE

We Are Created for Human Relationships. A major biblical theme beginning with the mythology in Genesis is the truth that you and I are created, not for isolation, but for mutual love and responsibility. Without companionship, Adam could never be content. Likewise, you and I are born with a basic need for others, not only to help us do things, but to be fulfilled as human beings. Without others, we are lacking.

Jesus - A Single Man. Reflecting the Genesis model in a too restrictive way, the Jewish Talmud says that one is called a man only if he has a wife; many Christian traditions have also embraced this overworked, faulty assumption. In sharp contrast, Jesus - the bachelor Messiah - broadens our vision. He discovered his own well-being, neither in marriage nor in isolated piety, but among friends - those who were his beloved family and community, and in his relationship with God. For whatever reasons, he appears to have not had the companionship of a partner or wife.

In This World Relationships Falter. Given the necessity of our mutual dependence, among the worst that can happen to us is the destruction of our relationships. Consider the disruption of an old friendship: the resulting sadness, inner ache, perhaps anger, and a longing for the way it used to be. Remember the family member from whom you are now alienated. Think of the individual in one of your circles with whom you no longer speak. Regardless of the reasons, no matter who is to blame, our lives are diminished; we experience real loss and grief when a good relationship dies.

MARRIAGES THAT FALTER

The natural course intended by the Creator is for all affectionate relationships to continue and grow, not to fracture. Yet, marriages, as well as other forms of human associations, do come apart. Disarray, betrayals, emotional indifference, changing priorities, and the like invade. Irreconcilable differences create casualties among friends, within families and communities, and between partners or spouses. (Let us put side consideration of celebrity serial divorces; that is a pathology for psychiatrists to consider.)

“Divorce” In Jesus’ Day. Given these realities, may Christians justify divorce, given what Jesus said in this evening’s Gospel? To answer, we must first understand that in Jesus' day divorce was not a public, legal court action aiming at fairness. Instead, the husband wrote a decree "I release and divorce my wife this day." The decree was then presented to his wife, who was dismissed from his house. Based on Deuteronomy, taken by everyone in Jesus' day to be Moses' own revelation on Mt. Sinai, the wife in whom "some indecency" was found could be divorced; theoretically it could not be just at her husband's whim, but it was too often contrived as just that!

Jesus Opposed The “Divorce” of His Day. In forbidding divorce, Jesus repudiated any notion that spouses are disposable property or that a husband by himself could end the marriage unfairly. He was not using the term “divorce” as our contemporary American legal processes define the word. In the Gospel according to Mark, he clearly opposed the divorce of his day.

Centuries of Misuse. Yet, right to this day many faithful Christian groups brutally employ Jesus’ words on divorce as if he had incorporated today’s usages of the word. They “go by the book” superficially and legalistically – using a term whose meaning has changed for the better, at least in our culture. Forgetting Jesus’ Summary of the Law, many Christians choose to live legalistically and according to familiar words with bygone meanings. I am confident that they are sadly mistaken and unintentionally promote unjust harmfulness. They have forgotten the Summary as the context of all the ideals of Jesus, that love is primary, a love that embraces our journey toward God’s ideal with mercy, forgiveness, resurrection, and hope.

THE GOOD NEWS

What Good News for you and me! Our lives may become seriously messed up now and then; sometimes we are innocent, and sometimes not. Our commitments do not workout as intended by God or ourselves. At our worst, we appeal to ironclad rules – even ones with outmoded meanings - which crucify; we invoke human laws that reduce persons to punishable objects.

Still, at our best, you and I as the Church, not only acknowledge the sacred ideals of our pilgrimage, but also respond pastorally to our agonies and crucifixions. At our best, only our profound reverence for God, love for our neighbors and ourselves need govern our responses to personal troubles. Despite the best efforts of a couple to salvage their marriage, divorce may be the most constructive decision.

Nurtured by God's grace, strengthened by lives closely linked with ours, as we deal with life’s problems, we press on as faithful Christians. We struggle out of – and might even be carried from - our valleys. Perhaps we find ourselves broken yet slowly healing, divorced yet joining with others in friendship and raised to new life. Sometimes we may again become a wife, husband, or partner; maybe not. In any case, like Christ we can be among others as faithful family, friends, and community, especially this community - the Church. If we could ask Jesus today, I believe that he would agree that divorce as it is constituted in this era could indeed be constructive as an expression of our love for God, our neighbors, and ourselves.
(See RTN Note below.)

Mark 10:2-16

Some Pharisees came, and to test Jesus they asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" He answered them, "What did Moses command you?" They said, "Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her." But Jesus said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart he wrote this commandment for you. But from the beginning of creation, 'God made them male and female.' 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."

Then in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery."

People were bringing little children to him in order that he might touch them; and the disciples spoke sternly to them. But when Jesus saw this, he was indignant and said to them, "Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs. Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it." And he took them up in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them.

RTN Note: The issue of marriage after divorce, especially serial divorces/marriages, is another important topic. I believe firmly that someone intending to marry for a third or more time, after divorces, ought to be required by Christian clergy to have a psychological assessment by a professional. Too often divorcees gravitate to clones of the person(s) they have divorced. Additionally, some serial marrying men and women are sufficiently unstable or conflicted that their capacity to sustain any close relationship is doubtful. Clergy are not providing genuine pastoral care, if their marriage preparation is minimal. Clergy need to learn to insist on appropriate marital preparation, perhaps in some cases with a psychologist ministering alongside the clergy. To acquiesce to celebrities or the wealthy and simply do their bidding is selling the marriage rite cheaply. In fact, it is professional negligence.